How are you connected?

The connection, is the connection to the truth, to your True Self and disconnection from the Ego Self. It is the connection to the alignment of the power that lies within. Make this connection so you don’t have to be operating out of your False Ego Self.

Operating out of Ego means that you are operating out of fear, and operating out of fear means you are always going to be scared, and running for your life instead of being in alignment of your life” -Oprah Winfrey

This past week, I had a Kairos moment. Kairos, for those who might not know, refers to a significant moment in time. To stop and take notice. As I was catching up on some of my favorite podcasts, I found myself hanging onto Oprah’s every word. It came from her Super Soul Podcast of July 22nd, with the title “Oprah on the False Power of Ego”. I listened to it again and again, all seventeen minutes. Four times to be exact, only stopping to take notes, as it resonated so deep within me.

In the podcast, she shared the journey of her weight loss experiences. She recalls that the most famous moment in her show history, was the episode in which she announced to the world that she had lost 65 lbs. What she hadn’t revealed to the crowd, is the behind the scenes method of a her dieting method that had cost her joy and engagement in life during that time. In reflection, she shares that she now realizes, that it was her Ego that hijacked her progress. She references her life altering interview with Eckert Tolle, as well as his book, A New Earth. He provides, “the Ego is the false sense of self based on mental concepts.” She opens up, that her desires were based on her perception of how, being thin, would bring a better image to her relationship, and a form of identity.

She goes on to describe, at a different part in her life, the weight had resurfaced. This time, she had the opportunity to create change from a place of connection. This connection she describes in the quote above. A place not of shaming or identifying with an object or idea, but out of an awareness of her true self.

I have to admit, I too, have for most of my life, operated by allowing my Ego, The Inner Critic, to scare me into the ways that I identified myself. I also allowed it to boss me around into periods of burn out, running hard in every direction to prove it wrong. I will also admit that while, I could remotely sense that my Inner Coach with a healing journey were pursuing me, my first arrival to Whole30 started much like the others. “Strict rules? Sounds like it will give me a sense of worth to say that I am an Alumni. I’m in. I’m ready to prove myself.” I could hear the familiar voice in my head start to play.

Somewhere along the way, though, something began to shift in me. Another Kairos moment, where I found myself slumped on the couch in tears overcome by fear, with a realization. ” What if I just quit altogether? I didn’t let the Inner Critic have the floor to speak? Will it all fall apart? What will I use to motivate me then? How will I be able to keep it all going? What if I start to engage from a place that I could come to believe I was enough. That I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone, most importantly myself. What if I could hold space and time to just allow growth and long term change? Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul.. just because I was worth it? ”

I didn’t know the term “connection” then, as Oprah refers to it. But, what if I could just allow myself to collaborate with the Inner Coach, the soft whisper that I had to get quiet enough to hear. The one that showed grace and encouragement?

So I have to ask you, as I sit with myself, in moments of stillness, who are we allowing in the driver seat of our journeys?Are we lovingly guided into change by our Inner Coach, or are we shamed and berated into proving ourselves by our Inner Critic. The one who also goes by the name, Ego?

be…the change,

Brandie


How Are You Growing?

“If you knew me based on who I was a year ago or even 4 months ago, you don’t know me at all” – Author Unknown

Allow me to introduce myself. I have been sitting in this quote, and it’s reflection upon my life.

I could be defined by the roles I play. You would say, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, Occupational Therapist. More recently understood, as Ennegram 2, Gretchen Rubin Questioner, Certified Health & Wellness Coach, Certified Whole30 Coach, Traveler to the other side of the world.

What I am learning is that roles don’t define you, although our culture would lead you to believe otherwise. They are just the lens in which we see the world. In continuing this growth journey I am traveling, my lens is constantly being adjusted. I have also come to terms that I will never attain 20/20.

What is being shown to me, is I want to be more intentional about honoring the journey, even when yours may not look like mine. We each have an Inner Coach that guides us individually on the way we need to go, if we can get still enough to listen.

I would say I am very passionate about health and wellness, which lead me to my first Whole30. Even that was just a starting point of the growth and stretching that would continue on in me. Uncovering, health is no longer about how one looks, defined by a size, or a number on a scale, and honestly a lot to do with how you love. How you receive love, how you show it to yourself, and to others.

Holistic Health is a healing journey, that continues to lead me, by quieting my Inner Critic and allow myself to be guided by my Inner Coach. It is an integrated one that encompasses Heart, Soul, Mind, and Body. Seeking doesn’t allow me to stay comfortable, but always reveals the authentic.

So I would ask you. Still your restlessness for just one minute. Listen. This is what I quietly hear.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on dieting and trying to fit into the mold that the world tells you, you “should be”. Come join me. Let’s choose not to participate for a season, and let’s recover your life, who you are, your freedom. Let’s do this together. I won’t boss you around, but let me walk with you. Share your journey. Let’s discover what works for you, and not judge it. I know it might seem overwhelming, so let’s go just one step at a time. Come keep company with me. Let’s learn how to live life more fully.”

Close your eyes. Take a deep breathe. What is your Inner Coach whispering to you?

If someone were to see you in 4 months to a year from now. Would you still be the same? Maybe it’s time. Be…the change.

The Small Things

Those who know me, I think would probably describe me as “Helper”. It’s evident in my career choice, as well in my day to day interactions. However, in my introduction to the Ennegram, I’ve been made aware that my personality or ego can seek this “helper” role as a false identify to cover my deepest insecurities. “Oh Brandie, she is so helpful”, and as I reply, saying “It’s no big deal”, I can secretly gloat in just how “good’ of a person I am.

Three years ago the evidence of a change in me was brewing. A different outlet to serve others was making itself known as a desire to be a Health Coach. I wasn’t sure what it would look like, but felt called to pursue it. In starting this journey, I had to first be lead where I did not want to go. Down roads that seemed less marked, steep, and filled with darkness. I was lead into facing how I view myself, others, having to define my values, and being intentional of what I would let define me. I wish I could say I was always successful, but more often than not, it involved falling down and having to get back up to keep moving forward. Turning back was no longer appear to be an option.

Through all of this discovery, I had that still small voice of my Inner Coach, that came at the start. “Brandie if you don’t give grace to yourself, you can never give it to others, and you can’t do this on your own. Your grit, ambition, and pride will no longer serve you. You have to release them.”

Release, unfortunately for me is not a one and done, I’m a little bit more stubborn then that. It’s an over and over, day in and day out, sometimes moment by moment battle of wills, at times with fists shaking. But in the releasing and allowing my Inner Coach to guide me, I’ve been taken to places and been provided for over the past 3 years, in ways I can’t even begin to describe.

This website and blog that I am releasing to you, is far from perfect or professional, and is way out of my own skillset. What it is, is a “MINI miracle in a series of MANY miracles”, I’ve had the privilege of watching unfold. At the end of my day, the things that seem small, really are the big things. There are still many unknowns, that I am having to follow in faith. What I know for sure is I still haven’t arrived, but I believe the adventure is just beginning. If you feel your own call, and a hunger for something more, I hope our paths continue to cross here.

To Living Life to the Fullest,

Brandie