“The connection, is the connection to the truth, to your True Self and disconnection from the Ego Self. It is the connection to the alignment of the power that lies within. Make this connection so you don’t have to be operating out of your False Ego Self.
Operating out of Ego means that you are operating out of fear, and operating out of fear means you are always going to be scared, and running for your life instead of being in alignment of your life” -Oprah Winfrey
This past week, I had a Kairos moment. Kairos, for those who might not know, refers to a significant moment in time. To stop and take notice. As I was catching up on some of my favorite podcasts, I found myself hanging onto Oprah’s every word. It came from her Super Soul Podcast of July 22nd, with the title “Oprah on the False Power of Ego”. I listened to it again and again, all seventeen minutes. Four times to be exact, only stopping to take notes, as it resonated so deep within me.
In the podcast, she shared the journey of her weight loss experiences. She recalls that the most famous moment in her show history, was the episode in which she announced to the world that she had lost 65 lbs. What she hadn’t revealed to the crowd, is the behind the scenes method of a her dieting method that had cost her joy and engagement in life during that time. In reflection, she shares that she now realizes, that it was her Ego that hijacked her progress. She references her life altering interview with Eckert Tolle, as well as his book, A New Earth. He provides, “the Ego is the false sense of self based on mental concepts.” She opens up, that her desires were based on her perception of how, being thin, would bring a better image to her relationship, and a form of identity.
She goes on to describe, at a different part in her life, the weight had resurfaced. This time, she had the opportunity to create change from a place of connection. This connection she describes in the quote above. A place not of shaming or identifying with an object or idea, but out of an awareness of her true self.
I have to admit, I too, have for most of my life, operated by allowing my Ego, The Inner Critic, to scare me into the ways that I identified myself. I also allowed it to boss me around into periods of burn out, running hard in every direction to prove it wrong. I will also admit that while, I could remotely sense that my Inner Coach with a healing journey were pursuing me, my first arrival to Whole30 started much like the others. “Strict rules? Sounds like it will give me a sense of worth to say that I am an Alumni. I’m in. I’m ready to prove myself.” I could hear the familiar voice in my head start to play.
Somewhere along the way, though, something began to shift in me. Another Kairos moment, where I found myself slumped on the couch in tears overcome by fear, with a realization. ” What if I just quit altogether? I didn’t let the Inner Critic have the floor to speak? Will it all fall apart? What will I use to motivate me then? How will I be able to keep it all going? What if I start to engage from a place that I could come to believe I was enough. That I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone, most importantly myself. What if I could hold space and time to just allow growth and long term change? Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul.. just because I was worth it? ”
I didn’t know the term “connection” then, as Oprah refers to it. But, what if I could just allow myself to collaborate with the Inner Coach, the soft whisper that I had to get quiet enough to hear. The one that showed grace and encouragement?
So I have to ask you, as I sit with myself, in moments of stillness, who are we allowing in the driver seat of our journeys?Are we lovingly guided into change by our Inner Coach, or are we shamed and berated into proving ourselves by our Inner Critic. The one who also goes by the name, Ego?